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Prom Date

A few things you should probably expect your date to know, or be aware of:

Who's paying for what on prom night

Prom night is expensive. There's a lot to pay for and it would be a shame if one or the other of you got stuck paying for something you either cannot afford, or that you'd assumed you wouldn't have to pay for. So make you and your date talk about the budget and decide how to split the costs. This is important because a mistake here could really make the two of you resent each other, so that whatever friendship you have, or whatever relationship you hope to build, can be destroyed by something so stupid as not knowing who's paying for what.

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He should be aware of what your parents expect

Okay, he's your date. That's nice, and you're both happy. And your parents may be chewing their fingernails down to the first knuckle with worry. See, they also know about the sex thing, and the drinking thing, and the party thing, and what can happen prom night if you're not responsible and careful. And see, no matter what happens, they will probably blame your date because, well, because that's what they always do. So how do you avoid this? Talk to your date before prom night, especially if he's meeting your parents for the first time, and explain what they might expect of him, and what he should expect from them. This will alert your date, and he'll be able better to handle any questions or attitude they might come up. The best thing is for him to appear responsible to your parents, so that they can relax a little and not worry that their little girl is about to be raped by a maniac. In both the long and the short run, it will make not only your prom night, but your entire life, much easier.

Discuss your expectations from him in terms of manners and treatment

Most of you know about those couples that go to prom together and then he just takes off and hangs with his friends while you sit at the table alone. Or maybe he's the kind of guy who'll show up in a great tux but wearing battered Nikes. Or maybe he'll stay by your side all night but be an asshole, making stupid remarks about the way you look and about how dumb the whole idea of prom is, and how idiotic your friends are, and so on. So what do you do? Well, if you've asked him, and you don't know him that well, you might want to probe him a little, just to get some idea what his behavior might be once prom night rolls around. And depending on what you think he'll be like, you should explain to him what you would hope from him, especially when and if it concerns his treating you like a lady and being the kind of gentleman who stays by your side.

He should know he's expected to dance with you

What, you don't think this is a problem? Dancing is a big part of prom night, both slow and fast. And most guys can get really stupid about dancing, and either not move from the table onto the dance floor, or go hang with their friends when they should be out there with you. So let him know you would like to dance, and try to convince him that he's got to be out there with you.

Discuss his party plans, especially if they involve drinking

You're not stupid, and you haven't been living in a cave. You know what's up with drinking, and especially with drinking and driving. Sometimes the guys feel they have to prove how tough or cool or whatever they are, and they seem to believe that the best way to do this is by drinking 'til they turn into pigs, or drinking and turning into pigs and then driving. Talk to your date about this before prom night. If he looks like the sort who might feel he has to prove something, get a commitment from him that he won't drink. Also get him to believe that there's nothing to prove, that he's great just as is. As far as drinking is concerned, also keep this in mind: he might actually drink because he's trying to get up the courage to be romantic and sexual. Make sure he sees that not only are those the wrong reasons to drink, but that drinking will so turn you off that he can forget about anything romantic he might've had in mind.

You both need to talk about sex

For some reason, so many guys these days have this belief that you have to have sex prom night. Is this belief justified? No way no way no way. I don't know where it came from but I do know beyond all doubt that you do not have to have sex prom night. So, when, or if he asks for it, or expects it, you should be able to say no. Or, better yet, before you even go to prom, and I mean long before, you'd better have a talk with him about this whole sex deal--that is, of course, if it looks like he might think it's necessary. Because if you're just going as friends, or you've only just hooked up and he's still in that shy and romantic stage, he won't want sex (obviously), and having a talk about it might either spoil your friendship, or ruin the romantic and still-getting-to-know-each other mood. In any case, you will know what your date is interested in probably before he does, and then you can plan to have a little talk or not accordingly.

 

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