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Prom Date
A few things you should probably expect your date
to know, or be aware of:
Who's paying for what on prom night
Prom night is expensive.
There's a lot to pay for and it would be a shame if one or the other of you got
stuck paying for something you either cannot afford, or that you'd assumed you
wouldn't have to pay for. So make you and your date talk about the budget and
decide how to split the costs. This is important because a mistake here could
really make the two of you resent each other, so that whatever friendship you
have, or whatever relationship you hope to build, can be destroyed by something
so stupid as not knowing who's paying for what.
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He should be aware of what your parents
expect
Okay, he's your date. That's nice, and you're
both happy. And your parents may be chewing their fingernails down to the first
knuckle with worry. See, they also know about the sex thing, and the drinking
thing, and the party thing, and what can happen prom night if you're not
responsible and careful. And see, no matter what happens, they will probably
blame your date because, well, because that's what they always do. So how do you
avoid this? Talk to your date before prom night, especially if he's meeting your
parents for the first time, and explain what they might expect of him, and what
he should expect from them. This will alert your date, and he'll be able better
to handle any questions or attitude they might come up. The best thing is for
him to appear responsible to your parents, so that they can relax a little and
not worry that their little girl is about to be raped by a maniac. In both the
long and the short run, it will make not only your prom night, but your entire
life, much easier.
Discuss your expectations from him in
terms of manners and treatment
Most of you know about those couples that go to
prom together and then he just takes off and hangs with his friends while you
sit at the table alone. Or maybe he's the kind of guy who'll show up in a great
tux but wearing battered Nikes. Or maybe he'll stay by your side all night but
be an asshole, making stupid remarks about the way you look and about how dumb
the whole idea of prom is, and how idiotic your friends are, and so on. So what
do you do? Well, if you've asked him, and you don't know him that well, you
might want to probe him a little, just to get some idea what his behavior might
be once prom night rolls around. And depending on what you think he'll be like,
you should explain to him what you would hope from him, especially when and if
it concerns his treating you like a lady and being the kind of gentleman who
stays by your side.
He should know he's expected to dance
with you
What, you don't think this is a problem? Dancing
is a big part of prom night, both slow and fast. And most guys can get really
stupid about dancing, and either not move from the table onto the dance floor,
or go hang with their friends when they should be out there with you. So let him
know you would like to dance, and try to convince him that he's got to be out
there with you.
Discuss his party plans, especially if
they involve drinking
You're not stupid, and you haven't been living in
a cave. You know what's up with drinking, and especially with drinking and
driving. Sometimes the guys feel they have to prove how tough or cool or
whatever they are, and they seem to believe that the best way to do this is by
drinking 'til they turn into pigs, or drinking and turning into pigs and then
driving. Talk to your date about this before prom night. If he looks like the
sort who might feel he has to prove something, get a commitment from him that he
won't drink. Also get him to believe that there's nothing to prove, that he's
great just as is. As far as drinking is concerned, also keep this in mind: he
might actually drink because he's trying to get up the courage to be romantic
and sexual. Make sure he sees that not only are those the wrong reasons to
drink, but that drinking will so turn you off that he can forget about anything
romantic he might've had in mind.
You both need to talk about sex
For some reason, so many guys these days have
this belief that you have to have sex prom night. Is this belief justified? No
way no way no way. I don't know where it came from but I do know beyond all
doubt that you do not have to have sex prom night. So, when, or if he asks for
it, or expects it, you should be able to say no. Or, better yet, before you even
go to prom, and I mean long before, you'd better have a
talk with him about this whole sex deal--that is, of course, if it looks like he
might think it's necessary. Because if you're just going as friends, or you've
only just hooked up and he's still in that shy and romantic stage, he won't want
sex (obviously), and having a talk about it might either spoil your friendship,
or ruin the romantic and still-getting-to-know-each other mood. In any case, you
will know what your date is interested in probably before he does, and then you
can plan to have a little talk or not accordingly.
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